It comes around at this time every year… Mother’s Day.
Knowing it’s coming doesn’t make it any easier for some of us.
There are those of you who have awesome mothers who are still alive and you can’t wait to celebrate her. How wonderful!
There are those of you who are moms and your kids will celebrate you. Enjoy!
Then there are those for whom Mother’s Day is filled with mixed emotions for various reasons…
Their mother has died.
They don’t have a good relationship with their mother or mother in law.
Or they want to be a mom and aren’t yet because of infertility, or because they are still single, or their spouse doesn’t want children.
Or they had an miscarriage, or abortion, or placed their baby for adoption, or their child has died.
All of those leave empty places in our hearts that a”Happy Mothers Day” greeting hits hard.
There were some years as an adult that Mother’s Day was a good day, when my daughter as a child focused on celebrating me as her mom. Precious.
Most of the last 26 years have been tough. That’s how long Mom has been gone.
And double whammy. Her birthday is May 12. Always close to and even sometimes on Mother’s Day.
I had a wonderful mom. She loved me and I knew it. ( Dad too, but this is about moms.)
No, don’t misunderstand me. She was far from perfect. She had her flaws. We all do.
She had a temper that could unfurl at the drop of a hat, seemingly coming from nowhere.
We kids hated to see mom’s displeasure.
And Most of the time she was wise and kind and patient, understanding, and loving.
That’s what I choose to remember.
I miss my mom. Still.
Mother’s Day has never been the same.
There is an empty spot that just can’t be reached.
As a Christian, I firmly believe that my mother is in heaven with Jesus, waltzing and singing, and maybe playing her violin. This is good. No, this is fantabulous.
I believe I will see her again. This is comforting.
And I still miss my mother today. Here. Now.
As tears stream down my face, I think of other friends who have each lost their mother
More recently. This is the first year for many of them.
I wonder how they will face this coming Sunday of Mother’s Day.
Bittersweet. With tears of pain and sorrow. And joy for the blessing of a wonderful mother.
Time marches on and life goes by.
And we are the lucky ones. We had good mothers who loved us, and cared for us, guided us through life.
There are many children of mothers, both living and dead, who somehow neglected them. Children who have something essential missing in their growth and development.
I don’t know their stories. I believe it’s necessary to reframe it in a way that gives mercy and grace to those moms and imparts value and worth to the child.
Child, it wasn’t you. You are lovable. You have worth. You are a valuable creation.
It was your mother. Somehow she was incapable of seeing and providing what you so deeply needed. Whether she was so wrapped up in her own needs and worries of her life or just incapable , she failed you when you needed her. She did the best she could with what she had in wisdom, knowledge, life skills, coping skills, and finances.
It doesn’t make it hurt any less. And it might give understanding and compassion.
Each of us walking this earth had a birth mom who chose life for us. Whatever kind of mother she was or wasn’t, she chose to give you life. Now that’s worth celebrating.
Life is the best gift ever.
This Mother’s Day, choose to Celebrate Life. Now, Go. Live it well.